I throw a magazine onto the bed and it hits The Ultimate Other Halfs knee.
"OUCH!!!"
"What?"
"It hurts!"
"You're a sissy ... you're a GIRL!"
"Boooo-hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
-------------------------------------------
Fancy Neighbouress and I are lounging in her sitting room discussing the size of the head of The Limbo Baby, her son.
"... and the doctor says it's definitely on the big side according to them charts so he'll send us to the pediatrician."
"Nah, I wouldn't worry, he'll grow into his head eventually. It's probably just hereditary, sure you have a big head as well!"
--------------------------------------------
Fancy Neighbouress presents me with a low cut tunic in crowded Dunnes Stores.
"That colour would look lovely on you!"
"Are you mad?" I announce with an optimistic air of DJ who's microphone has just stopped working. "My tits would constantly be hangin out of that thing!"
Fancy Neighbouress goes slightly pale and looks nervously around.
"What? What did I say?" I demand.
"MEN say TITS," she hisses. "Girls say BOOBS!"
Thursday 20 September 2007
Why I should never open my mouth
Posted by Foreigner by Default at 15:48
Labels: Foreigner, Fun and games, Things Happen
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7 comments:
Classic! I laughed out loud at the tits one. Why is it called Limbo Baby by the way?? #1 had an oddly shaped head but you're right, he grew out of it.
He's all limbs - slim, tall and flexible. Hence The Limbo Baby.
Gonna be just like his Dad - The Suave Neighbour! :D
Tits,boobs, melons ...what ever you call them they are very nice...I am usually tongue tied when any are exposed around me so I am not sure what I call them when under fire so to speak....
My son prefers 'chest' but then he's a very grown up and easily embarrassed 12 year old. The smaller one is currently at an age when everything is based around sniggering and willy jokes and I dread to think what he calls them.
Hooters? Rack? Melons?
Oh, the options are limitless....
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