Wednesday 21 November 2007

Sleep issues or actually lack of sleep issues

OK, here I am again, sitting at my desk.

Yawn.

I distinctly remember most of the baby-related books I read (and oh did I go through plenty) stated that little humans usually start sleeping through the night at the age of 6 months. Well, maybe 9 months if you happen to have a particularly uncooperative baby.

I trust books. Wisdom of the mankind is bound into books. They're solid and smell nice and make me purr much louder than finding David Beckham stark naked in my kitchen ever would.

(Actually, bad parallel, finding Becks in my kitchen (naked or not) would just plain freak me out. But I WOULD jump him alrite - to bloody gag him. Just a thought of that whingy voice of his makes me shudder.)

Anyway, who cares who's wandering around naked in my kitchen!

The point is I have come to a shocking discovery that BOOKS CAN LIE.

And I think it's a conniving plot to lull couples into false sense of security.

You know - ah sure let's not throw him out of the window yet, he'll get better in some months.

And then couple of months pass, you refer back to the book and sure it did mention that it CAN happen a bit later as well so you cross your teeth and suffer on.

By the time you have lost all hope to ever get sleep again it's too late. You've bonded with the little divil. He/she can do nothing wrong and is Generally One Of The Prettiest Children Alive.
Presenting The Most Smashingly Gorgeous Demon Alive Complete With Huge Zit, Manky Face And No Pants

There's nothing to be done now. He can stay up all night screaming for I-don't-know-what-I-want-but-you-better-get-it-for-me-now.
He can keep hiding The Ultimate Other Half's watch, my shoes, his socks, my phone.
He can nick Mutt The Mad's food and keep lovingly smacking our faces (a new charming trait and it flippin hurts, especially if he has a wooden block if his hand).
He can raise a hell every evening when we all get home cause WHY ISN'T DINNER ON THE TABLE YET, I WANT IT NOW, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO COOK IT FIRST.

We still adore him immensely and could not imagine a life without him and will get through another no-sleep period as well.

After all that's what God created Dozol, Bonjela and Nurofen for.

4 comments:

Martin said...

"After all that's what God created Dozol, Bonjela and Nurofen for."

hahaha...draw the curtains and don't answer the door, social service are on the way...

gripe water, and calpol in my day.

Anonymous said...

Loving the ringlets!!!

Our own kids are always the exception to the rule. They are individually programmed genetically to know exactly how to piss us off. It sucks, but payback will arrive when we're old and decrepid I 'spose.

How bleak.

Susan at Stony River said...

Not to worry! I'm raising the perfect wee wife for him, and if she continues as she's started, you'll have all the payback you need. The longest eighteen months of my life....and she's going mad with the whacking thing as well.

We're not ones for long engagements however...when can I send her over?

Anonymous said...

My daughter isn't sleeping through the night and she is 4.

just thought i'd let you know:)

 
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