Tuesday 13 November 2007

How to drive your husband nuts Vol 1

I think I have a lot to contribute to the subject. You could almost say I'm an expert.

And unlike some I am always happy to share my knowledge with the world. So the world could benefit, like.

Lets start with Little Things. They have proved to be extremely efficient.

Thing no 1
KEYS
Frustrated Foreigner after 10-minute search: Have you seen my my keys?
The Ultimate Other Half: I put them into key cabinet.
Foreigner: WHY the hell would you put them into key cabinet??? I NEVER put them there!!! FFS!!! (storms out huffing and puffing)

Thing no 2
CURTAINS
Grumpy Foreigner: Why do you bloody keep opening the curtains?!
Baffled Husband: To let light in, of course.
Foreigner: Well STOP doing it! We'll only need to close them again in the evening and it annoys me!

Thing no 3
OLD T-SHIRTS
Throw them away. Ignore his pleas.

Thing no 4
TOASTED SANDWICH MAKER
The Ultimate Other Half: Where's the toasted sandwich maker?
Foreigner: Dunno. Why do you want it?
Other Half (with poisonous stare): I want to make toasted sandwiches! Why did you move it?
Foreigner: Needed more space in the corner cupboard.
Other Half: The corner cupboard is almost EMPTY!
Foreigner: Well, it was IN MY WAY and annoyed me!
Other Half: So where did you put it?
Foreigner: Told you - I DON'T KNOW!

Oh yeah, don't mention it. I know I'm good!

I might move on to Big Things some time in the future since those inconsiderate people here in the office keep whinging that I should get some work done.

Or maybe I'll just retire and devote myself to blogging, Sprout-rearing and Husband-annoying. Oh what a life would it be!

4 comments:

Martin said...

if it wasn't for the rugrat I'd think you were MY wife....

Foreigner by Default said...

susan - respect, woman! I wish |I had your powers of persuasion.
The Ultimate Other Half still tends to issue complaints. They're getting fainter and fainter though as time passes.

I can't believe I haven't found your blogs yet! Great work you're doing!

Anonymous said...

Annoying husbands is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Another gem I use is;
'I don't WANT you to do the washing up... I want you to WANT to do the washing up!'

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