Language barrier à la Foreigner by Default

I have never had too many illusions about my proficiency in English. Truth is I manage fine and some of my friends have hearts big enough to call me fluent but it is still not my mother tongue and well, things happen.

For years I was living in happy knowledge that "spring water" is something which is only collected seasonally. During precious 3 months a year. Maybe it's something to do with snow melting or dropping cherry blossoms giving it this extra special taste and purity, I don't know. Never really stopped to think about it. Just recently I was reading a book in the bed when a real meaning hit me. Nobody explained anything, it was suddenly just there, so simple and clear and logical I was wondering how come it never occurred to me before.

While one could kind of see where I was coming from with the spring water case the next example doesn't really make any sense at all. Yet it never bothered me, just accepted the fact that language can be pretty quirky.

I often heard The Ultimate Other Half discussing sports with other Male Specimens. That's what the Lad League does when they get together - sit down and talk sports. Or maybe computers if you're lucky. DIY if you're really blessed. Of course if you're not lucky or blessed you can just be smart and not be there at all. But that's besides the point.

The point is I noticed they often referred to "paper view" games. Since I wasn't really terribly interested in the subject to start with I only wondered about it briefly. Are they drawing graphs to catch all the finer details of the beautiful game (read "bunch of sweaty guys rushing around the huge field")? Or have they just missed the game on TV and read about it in the newspaper?

Usually I just shrugged and went back to counting the cracks on the ceiling or (if properly prepared) solving kiddycrosswords, only coming to my senses for long enough to state that yes, I would like another beer.

Once again the moment of enlightenment came utterly out of blue. I was doing something like chopping an aubergine or clipping my toenails when it came to me: of course it's Pay Per View! Duh! Isn't it just so obvious.

Confessed about my misinterpretations to The Ultimate Other Half who thought them a great joke.

Getting more fluent in the language will not prevent mishaps like that. It's more about your brain pulling out the first available drawer, finding something that "will do" in it and then not bothering to look further. Plain old laziness.

Doesn't that just sum me up nicely!